


Retirement

by ilikebigassbuttsandicannotlie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apple Pie Life (Supernatural), Established Relationship, F/M, Fatherhood, Fluff and Angst, Married Life, Parenthood, Post-Canon, Retired Hunter Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikebigassbuttsandicannotlie/pseuds/ilikebigassbuttsandicannotlie
Summary: Walking away sounded like a great idea. The dream life Dean had always, well, dreamed of. And in some ways, it was. The domesticity of family life is nice, it really is. But in others.....He finds himself on edge more often than not, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yeah, they were safe now, but how long will that last? How long do retired hunters live for? It varies, but the end result is always the same. You can leave the hunting life behind but the monsters will always be just around the corner, ready to settle the score.He has a job, working 9 to 5 and all that stuff Dolly Parton sang about. It's a nice change of pace and it pays the bills. But at the end of the day, he's left with an itch he just can't scratch.
Relationships: Jo Harvelle/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	Retirement

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for clicking on my fic! I would like to add onto this AU later on, but this is it for now. I've read a lot of retired, apple pie life fic and I've always thought Dean would have a hard time transitioning. This fic explores that. I hope you enjoy it!!

Walking away sounded like a great idea. The dream life Dean had always, well, dreamed of. And in some ways, it was. The domesticity of family life is nice, it really is. But in others..... 

He finds himself on edge more often than not, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yeah, they were safe now, but how long will that last? How long do retired hunters live for? It varies, but the end result is always the same. You can leave the hunting life behind but the monsters will always be just around the corner, ready to settle the score. 

He has a job, working 9 to 5 and all that stuff Dolly Parton sang about. It's a nice change of pace and it pays the bills. But at the end of the day, he's left with an itch he just can't scratch. 

Sometimes he sees a news article that would normally take him halfway across the country to investigate, but he ignores it. Those nights he lies awake, thinking about that missing persons, or that mysterious string of killings, wondering if it'll happen again because he ignored it. He tells himself that some other hunter will pick up the case and take care of it, but that itch comes crawling back under his skin. 

Nights after that, Jo wakes up without him there and finds him downstairs sitting in front of his laptop. An empty glass in his hand and a half empty bottle beside it. He tells her about the article and how there was another murder today. She tells him it's not his fault, it's not his responsibility. There are hundreds if not thousands of other hunters in the country, it's on them, not him. Sometimes they don't make it in time. Still, he wonders if he made the right call. How many lives will be lost because he isn't out there saving them?

Nights such as those... he often doesn't return to bed. He says he'll be up soon, and he really means it at the time, but he never seems to make it back up those stairs. Sometimes he sits there til the whiskey runs dry. Sometimes he cleans his guns. Not that they've had any use lately, but he misses the weight of them, the way they feel in his hands, and that very same itch that just won't stop gnawing at him finds itself in his right index finger. Sometimes that itch takes him on a drive, after leaving a text for Jo saying he'll be back soon, since the start of the ignition would wake her. He stops somewhere remote, far enough away that nobody will hear, and he sets up some empty bottles for target practice. It helps, some, feeling the kickback, the rush that gets his blood pumping, smelling the gunpowder, hearing that BANG. But it doesn't fully satisfy. Nothing ever does.

Irony is a cruel bitch. The very thing he never wanted and he was forced into, the thing that took his mother, Jess, Sam's future, his father, his friends, Bobby.... the thing that he dreamed of getting away from his entire life... was the thing he craved when he finally achieved that dream. 

It wasn't that he wanted that life back. The cheap motels, the fast food, the long hours of research... He loved having a home, being with Jo, being with their daughter. He didn't want that life back, not really. It was a withdrawal; coming down from a twenty-year long high.

* * *

He returns home and washes the gunpowder from his hands, a symbolic gesture in itself. A faint cry could be heard upstairs, he must've woken her. Jo was almost to her room by the time he reached the top of the stairs. "I got her."

"Hey, you okay?" She asked him as he started to pass her. He nodded silently before going to soothe the crying infant. Jo went back to bed, she knew him enough by now to know that he will talk about it when he's ready to talk about it. 

Dean shushed her as he gently swayed her in his arms. "Hey, it's okay," he whispered, "Daddy's here." 

She quieted and he sat on the rocking chair beside her crib, holding her and rocking slowly. She opened her bright green eyes and looked up at him.

Dean smiled. "There she is." He went to poke her nose, which always made her laugh, when she grabbed his index finger. His heart swelled and that itch subsided for the first time in a long time. That finger wasn't for pulling triggers and grasping machetes anymore. It belonged right here, right now. He belonged right here. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, please kudos and consider leaving a comment <3 I LIVE for feedback!!
> 
> If you have any prompts, requests, or requests for existing fics of mine, you can leave a comment, or head over to my Tumblr of the same name and shoot me an ask! Have a wonderful day!!


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